Planning a Mindful and Local-Loving Wedding in Richmond
My introduction to the world of weddings began as a child. Growing up in a conservative Christian fundamentalism environment meant all weddings held in the church were the same. Each one ends with delicious buttercream iced wedding cake and pastel punch with a dollop of sherbet. Our family attended many of them, and I was in a mesmerizing trance by the pomp and circumstance every time.
Often, the lead-up to a wedding (bachelorette, engagement parties, engagement photo shoots, showers) and all the events and expectations that come with it can feel consuming. The theatrics and (often) people-pleasing can become it's own entity, distracting from the simplicity of celebration. What is the core of a wedding? Two people connecting their lives in ceremony, surrounded by the energy of people who they love and love them back.
So when I proposed to my now wife in 2016, on a casual Wednesday night, I did it because it felt right. I just wanted my partner to keep riding this journey with me and wanted to make a commitment that reflected that. I didn't need a public proposal or attention - I just needed her, the summer sky, and my bubbling excitement. Everyone is different, honoring that some people delight in public proposals.
This same low-key mindset trickled into planning our celebration. What this looked like for us meant a mutual and relieving agreement that bachelorette parties, showers, and gifts were off the books. We kept our last names because, for us, changing our name doesn't equate to love or honor - our actions and commitment are. We also left wedding traditions behind that felt weird and heteronormative (garter toss, father-daughter dance, the Cupid Shuffle, etc.).
One of the hardest things we encountered with establishing boundaries with both sides of our family - a shared experience with anyone getting married. My suggestion? During planning, allow yourself and your partner to take a break and reflect on if your wedding choices are fulfilling your happiness or others'.
Having a mindful wedding isn’t a trend; it simply means creating an experience that authentically reflects you, your partner, and your love. For us, I was barefoot the entire night. We played the Buffy The Vampire Slayer theme song as we entered the reception. We did not incorporate religion in our ceremony. I think the best thing any guest could walk away from a wedding saying is, “their wedding was so them.”
This all being said, supporting independent and lgbtq+ owned businesses was important for us when we said "I do" in 2017. With so many locally-owned businesses and creatives in Richmond, choosing vendors was a delight. Thank you to each person who made our celebration intimate and unique.
Below I've listed everyone we worked with, wanted to work with, or friends doing amazing wedding-related things in Richmond.
Rings
Brittanny of Sun & Selene is a friend and fellow small business owner who creates stunning jewelry. We were honored she helped revitalize my mother's solitaire diamond engagement ring with the addition of turquoise and rose quartz.
I purchased my wife’s ring from Kristen Coffin, a Colorado-based jewelry designer. Richmond’s Nine Roses offers gorgeous (high end) pieces, too.
Food
For our reception, we chose a southern fare-inspired menu (including the best sweet potato biscuits ever) from Mosaic Catering. They were wonderful to work with and the food was well received by our guests, but it was pricey. Richmond’s food scene keeps growing and so do catering offering from restaurants. Those options? Zorch Pizza, Soul Taco, Alamo BBQ, The Savory Grain, Blue Atlas and ZZQ.
Our cakes came from our favorite bakery (with lots of vegan or gluten free options), WPA. Our pear ginger cake with cream cheese icing and coffee cake with chocolate icing was unbelievable. Kuba Kuba's infamous tres leches cake is also a crowd-pleaser for Richmond weddings.
Music
We met the woman who would end up being our DJ during a Maven Made pop-up event. She’s no longer providing DJ services but there are several other options in Richmond.
Anthony of DJ Ant Boogie might be a familiar (smiling) face since he pumps out amazing music at The Brunch Markets and also owns Little Nomad.
Flowers
Kelsey of Old Time Feeling helped us create our first Valentine’s Day bouquet together and she nailed our wedding day florals. This was the one thing I was most excited about (so much I cried when she unveiled my flower crown).
Amanda Burnette, Pistil + Stamen, Vessel and Stem, and Hummingbird Gardens are wonderful local options (and amazing humans).
Invitations
Our friend Molly of Rabbit Foot Fern helped us design our beautiful wedding invites. Since then she’s moved on to other creative endeavors.
Wedding invites set an immediate tone, so go with what feels right to you! Locally, Riot + Revel and Merrymaker Fine Paper offers wedding stationary, but you might want to venture out to Instagram or Etsy to find the style the fits best for you.
Favors
For our guests, we gifted herb-infused cooking salts from Hummingbird Gardens, a hangover cure duo with our Headache + Tension roll-on and Quinton Hypertonic vials from Boketto Wellness and chocolate bars from Virginia-based Gearharts Fine Chocolates.
Interested in learning about how we can help with guest, shower or out of town gifts? Learn more about our wedding offerings here.
Other Mentions
Christine Greenberg (of The Hive Wedding Collective) was our day of coordinator. She truly saved our asses when she calmly informed us we were running out of booze during cocktail hour then hopped in her car and drove 30 minutes away to restock wine. She is cool as a cucumber and can diffuse any drama. We also purchased our Maggie Sottero dresses from Christine's shop, Urban Set Bride.
I was on the fence about hiring a day of coordinator since we had a small 60 person wedding but I'm so glad we did. If you're on the fence, do it - saves lots of running around on a day you should enjoy.
We chose Seven Springs (about 45 minutes from RVA) for our wedding venue since it was minimal, flexible for any weather and was not a plantation (please everyone, stop getting married on plantation land). It was a beautiful space, but our customer service experiences were underwhelming.
We couldn't think of anyone better to marry us than our friend Drew, we followed this simple process for him to officiate our wedding.